I have officially been a mom of two under two for about eight weeks now. Both of my little angels are currently sleeping in their respective cribs for afternoon nap. I would approximate that this mutual nap time will last about six minutes. It’s been a bit of a wild ride so far. For those of you with more than two children, mom’s with deployed spouses or single moms, you are literally my heroes. I don’t know how you do it. But like really…how do you do it?
Here are some things I have learned in the last eight weeks:
My first baby seems so big, even though he is still very little.
This has been a big struggle for me. The moment we walked through the door with our daughter, in my head my son aged so much. All of the talk (errr bribery) about big boy this and big boy that often makes me forget that he is still not even two years old. A baby himself by some standards. His whole world just got rocked. And even though he loves his “sissy” it’s a big change that requires some growing pains for everyone.
Someone always needs me. And there’s guilt about that.
Sometimes the stars align and we have blissful moments of happiness for all involved but usually someone needs something that my two hands can’t get fast enough. I am so glad my uptight first time mom personality has softened some. That mom guilt though. My toddler is getting lots of screen time and my daughter is getting lots of swing time. I keep trying to tell myself it’s a season. Triage and tend to the biggest need first.
One was so busy until I had two.
I have a very active toddler. He’s into everything, plays tough, but is oh so sweet. He hates being cooped up in the house for too long which is a bit of an inevitability when a new babe arrives just in time for the holidays/flu season. With my husband’s shift work, I am gaining confidence venturing out with the two of them alone. But I still much prefer man on man coverage to zone. Thank God for grocery pick up!
The newborn is the easy one.
All those things I thought made newborns so challenging are still present. The night feeds. The unpredictable schedule. Maybe they just don’t bother me as much this time because I have seen the other side. The newborn period is racked with emotion and little sleep but it’s so fleeting. Newborns usually only want one of a handful of things. Unlike toddlers who often want things like THOSE fruit snacks on THAT plate in THAT chair NOW! Which is harder to guess than boob or bum wipe?
Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly tough moments. It’s also 100% possible that she is simply an easier baby, but I think a lot of it comes down to my being calmer. My middle of the night googling has gone down 300 fold.
The sibling moments melt your heart.
Watching the way my son gets up from a nap and has to find sissy to say hi or give her a sloppy kiss makes the chaos seem insignificant.
We are figuring out our new family dynamic day by day. My husband is an amazing father, a blessing that cannot be put into words. My daughter sleeps much better than her brother did at this age, which as we all know in the newborn period sleep is life. We read “Hands are not for Hitting” twelve times a day, but the jealousy is turning into a deep sibling bond that I cannot wait to watch bloom throughout their childhoods. Two under two. I wouldn’t have it any other way.