Is it possible to be opinionated on parenting via social media and not come across like a total sanctimommy? In all honesty, I’m not really sure. I have several topics on which I am extremely passionate. Passionate probably to a fault, especially in how I express my opinion. From research I have read, one is unlikely to change the opinion of an opposing view point by berating or at least typing in all caps on Facebook. Ok, I am kind of paraphrasing but you get the gist. Hence why everyone hates all the judge moms roaring all over social media. In church today, our pastor finished up a sermon series called Jesus Didn’t Say That. This final week focused on “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin.” A phrase I’ve heard more since moving below the Mason-Dixon Line, but essentially it’s the Christian equivalent to internet mom shaming. Even if your intention is good, no one is going to listen to the point of your message if shame is the overarching tone.
I will be the first to say this is not something that is within my list of strengths. I am good and judging. I can spot a scrunchy from like a mile off. Maybe that’s because I am praying if I am talking about that poor soul’s scrunchy you won’t notice my third day of dry-shampooed hair and VPL (visible panty line) through my yoga pants because let’s be real, some days a thong just ain’t happening. It’s a part of our culture, that whole worrying about the sins of others while blatantly ignoring our own.
The sheer number of times I have gotten caught up in comment wars is embarrassing and I am so glad I don’t have hard data on things like this. I am fiery and highly emotional. There are benefits to this, I do have off the charts empathy, but I cannot watch even a commercial with a hint of injustice without waterworks. I want other parents to know what I know from experience. Especially from my nursing experience. I want people to understand the difference between a good, scientific source for information and an opinion (like this ironically). But I do fear that often that passion is misconstrued or mishandled by me and comes across as too much.
I scour the internet constantly for parenting tips de jour. Because doesn’t it seem like as soon as you master one phase, a new one comes at you like a freight train or at least like Thomas the Tank Engine? Maybe that’s why we are all so keen on noticing the flaws in each other’s styles. None of us has any idea what we are doing. Quite frankly the moms who scare me the most are the ones who are unafraid. If you are completely convinced that you have this parenting thing down you might just be a Martian in my book.
If you’re worried about being a good mom that means you already are one. –Jodi Picoult
I am not going to attempt to squelch my passions because that’s not honoring who I am meant to be, but I will pause and take a breath. Maybe 32 (coming up fast in November) will finally be the year I know my thoughts before I hear them coming out of my mouth. Or at least recognizing the power of the backspace button. Probably not, but it’s a great goal. The whole purpose of my blog is A) to build a community however small of women who recognize this time in motherhood is messy beautiful and B) to grow as a woman and writer. So if you need me, I’ll be ordering a scrunchy off Prime, I’d make one off Pinterest but we should really embrace our strengths and mine is clicking rather than stitching. I will be attempting kindness over judgment as I wing my way through each parenting phase. And by wing I mean cry/google/laugh my way through. I hope you’ll join me with comments and your own experience.