Guest Post: IVF Anxiety – You Are Not Alone

by Danielle Deen

As I have mentioned in other posts, our path to children was destined to be with a fertility doctor and eventually IVF. We were very lucky to conceive on the first round of IVF both times, but there was a lot of uncertainty leading into it.

Being subtly diagnosed with unexplained infertility is disheartening. I am a strong and powerful woman who can stand and speak to a room of 300 people. I can discuss liberal politics with conservative parents. But this one very natural innately woman thing… I am for some reason unable to do? Why? Kids on Teen Mom 2 are getting knocked up, WTF!

The Blame Game

I always played the blame game. 

Did I eat organically growing up?

Maybe I ingested too many hormones… or not enough?

I’m lactose intolerant – is that connected?

Does birth control cause infertility?

Am I not laying on my back long enough after coitus?

Maybe I need to elevate my pelvis.

Although it’s sometimes hard to get the blame game out of your head and squash the curiosity living inside you, at some point you have to move on. It is what it is, and this is your path now. Do whatever you can moving forward so you don’t allow those feelings of blame or negativity to creep in.


Ok, so this is where we are.

IVF. Infertility Doctor. This is the “all eggs in the basket” option before moving on to surrogacy and adoption. We had been through other surgeries and procedures to get to this point, and this is it. Some people are able to afford (financially and emotionally) to go through IVF multiple times. We were not those people. We were mentally, physically and emotionally ready for just 1 round of IVF before gracefully moving on to adoption. But that’s a topic for another time.

In the world of IVF, although there have been incredible advancements, it is not an exact science. There is going to be uncertainty and fear all around you. You have to resist letting it creep in! You must rise above it all and live in a positivity bubble. There is no room for doubt. No room for past regrets. No room for negativity. This is just your journey to a family and it is beautiful.

A Note From Meredith

We didn’t personally struggle with infertility, so cannot imagine the uncertainty and the pain. Each woman’s journey to motherhood is unique and beautiful. Often, in life it is not the smooth paths that cause us to grow and become the women we are destined to be. Instead it’s the mountains that pop up where we least expect them. Just know if you are in the waiting (for a baby, for an embryo transfer, for adoption news, that this pregnancy doesn’t end in a loss) you are thought of and you are not alone. I think there is a part of each woman that becomes a mother the moment she starts trying to conceive.

About the Author

Danielle is a high energy mama running her home and blog. Check out Deen Adventures: Once a travel couple, now a travel family. After years of infertility and eventual IVF treatments, our family of 4 is complete and we are ready to take on the world! Also, check out her rockin’ Instagram @deenadventures

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